I dunno 'bout anyone else, but I think my answer lies in fear of failure. Not that fear of failure makes much sense, even to me, because commitment can diffuse failure. If you are committed to anything, you WANT to succeed. You WANT to see things to the end. You WANT desirable end results because of the effort you put in...COMMITTED...as an investment into those desired results.
Okay, it's a little easier to say now.... Why is it that we can be in the perpetual process of any given thing, but to commit to that process somehow means an end result? Why am I so afraid of those end results? I kinda get the guys who have a fear of commitment to marriage. They are "fine" in the circumstances they're in, happy with a gal they're even willing to spend the rest of their life with, but for anyone to suggest "marriage" and the guy goes into "commitment arrest."
Gettin' a little easier....
Commit comes from the Latin word committere meaning "to bring together" or "to send together." (com = together with, mittere = to send)
Commit has many definitions, but for the purpose of this entry, commit means to "entrust", "consign", "engage", and "pledge." Commitment is merely "the act of entrusting, consigning, engaging, pledging to, or with, anyone or anything." When we commit to a marriage, we are entrusting our care to another person and that person to you. When we commit to a promise, we are pledging our part of that promise. When we commit to do something, we are engaging in a promise.I admit I have an extremely difficult time committing to anything. I have had many opportunities to enrich my life through various commitments. But fear gripped my heart, possibly due to undiagnosed ADD. What if I fail? What if I can't live up to the standards of the commitment? What if I can't endure to the finish (my usual fear)? I've got to learn how to put aside the "what ifs" and JUST DO IT!!! Yes, Nike has som'n there. ; } I have to meditate on and remember 2 Timothy 1:7 : "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind."
Commitment. There. I said it.
I want this year to be a year in which I develop in the area of commitment. I know God has given me opportunities in the past that frightened me...not so much the commitments themselves, but how I saw myself in carrying out those commitments. I feel like Moses did when God called him to be His people's leader. For all his education and knowledge of the ways of the Egyptians AS WELL as the Hebrews of those days, he still felt inadequate to lead. He also let the condemnation of murder stand in the way of God's calling in his life. However, God merely overrode Moses' protests with demonstrations of His power and might through him.
God knows what I need to carry out whatever commitments He may put in my life. I need to trust in the Lord that I can carry them out instead of wallowing in my fear and sense of inadequacy and weakness. I see it in the Bible, now I need to apply it to myself. 1 Corinthians 1 is an awesome chapter to remind us of our capabilities through Him, and how each of us plays a part in His purposes.
From 1 Corinthians 1:26-31
For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called?
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, year, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are;
That no flesh should glory in his presence.
But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption;
That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.
I need to relearn to see myself as God sees me. God sees me as able. God sees His Son, Jesus, in me. God has given Christians gifts, and we need to put those gifts into practice. We need to commit ourselves to accomplishing that which He has called us to do. God gives us the ability, we need to act upon those abilities.
My commitments for 2011, not necessarily in any particular order:
To renew my body into a capable and strong vessel.
To read through the Bible from Genesis to Revelation at least once this year.
To find the open door to a job God has lined up for me, and to do that job well.
To OBEY and HONOR God in all things, no matter how difficult I may believe the task to be.
To LOVE God by loving my neighbors with all of my heart, with all of my soul, with all of my mind.
"I know Whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day."